The Beermat Best Player In The World (Today)

Ah FA Cup Weekend.  Where referees across the land adhere to the age old rule of “if you’re playing against a side in a higher league, I’ll let you make all the fouls”.  It’s the true magic of the cup.  There were quite a few players who put themselves in contention for today’s award.  Wolves applied themselves magnificently against a side whose record of keeping people out is very much the antithesis of what Donald Trump is trying to do with America.  Oh Jurgen Klopp.  You are our hero.  Goals for everyone! and the freedom of midfield.

Likewise Wycome Wanderers also have a litany of contenders.  Usually the criteria for winning this award involves many different factors but had they even got a replay out of that one we’d have given them it alone just for saving Liverpool the embarrassment of being the *only* team to have an off day (been quite a few of those lately).  Alas, it was not meant to be.

Danny Welbeck then arrived to put himself in pole position.  You’d think we’d take marks off for that awful meme celebration but no.  Theo Walcott did as he does in scoring a bagful of goals against an already beaten side, thus ruling him out.  Sorry Theo, you have to make a contribution to a game while it’s still live (Martin Tyler voice) to get the credit here.  So obviously we’re here to crown King Danny of Dat Guy?  Well, no.  Not very Arsenal at all to get into contention and then fall at the final hurdle.  Sarcasm is great.

In truth Welbeck – whose return was as good as you could have hoped – never really stood a chance.  There had already been a game that day, between two teams who were in this seasons Champions League.  One is still involved, the other was in a group involving Barcelona and Man City. Neither side is going great in the league.  But upon being faced with a two goal defecit, Mönchengladbach’s Lars Stindl scored twice against Bayer Leverkusen to level the game before Raffael (not the one you’re thinking of) completed the comeback.  We salute you Lars.  Not only for your cool name and your goals but for giving us the chance to stick it to Arsenal fans.  The gift that keeps on giving.


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