The Beermat Best Player In The World (Today)

There will come a time when Lionel Messi will do something even more outrageous than his normal constant redefinition of what a footballer is capable of and we’ll be forced to give him the award.  On that day, we’ll have officially gone too far.  Nobody wants to be reminded of the obvious.  The sky is blue, water is wet, Arsenal will finish forth etc.  So we scoured the globe trying to find a more viable candidate.  But it’s a testament to what Sutton United were able to achieve that even in the face of our immense scouting network we couldn’t come up with anyone.

Massive shout to Abel Hernandez’s double penalty miss in the dying embers of the Fulham-Hull game.  It may not get the award but it’s going in the football comedy hall of fame.

Worner.  Amankwaah.  Downer.  Collins.  Spence.  Biamou. Eastmond.  Bailey.  May.  Deacon.  Gomis.  All eleven played their part.  Also, a massive shout to Mallik Wilks for making his Leeds debut in such tragic circumstances.  Roarie Deacon in particular shone in what can be a difficult role.  He probably even edged out in terms of performance the matchwinner.  But football is a results business and what people will remember more (other than the Sutton fans whom will no doubt recount the entire ninety over and over) is the name of the match winner: Jamie Collins.  Penalties aren’t exactly quite as romantic as say a wonderful solo effort or as euphoric as a goalline scramble that almost sees the collective will of the fans drag the ball over the line.  But they all count.  Which is what the bean counters at Sutton will be doing should they get to play at any of the Premier League’s leading lights.


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