Today football teased you. Robbed you. Stole hours and minutes from your life. Only it wasn’t the game itself so much as time. Had every game kicked off at the time of our eventual award winner, you’d be sipping tea and rocking on your favourite chair (even if it doesn’t rock). As it is, it’s late, you’re tired and waiting for your daily Beermat fix.
The reason why you all had to wait is partly the reason why we all enjoy the game; mainstream Europe. Now we’re big advocates (not quite Dick Advocaat’s) of football played outside of the Western hemisphere (America doesn’t count, no matter how much Landon Donovan tries) but realistically there were only a couple of notable games to choose from and the CheckTrade Trophy semi final was not one of them.
First of all, Atletico Madrid drew with Barca at the Nou Camp and got tossed out of the Copa Del Rey in a game that featured so many red cards you’d think Mike Dean was reffing. More impressively Roma and Fiorentina met in Serie A and it ended in more of a bloodbath than the end of many a mafia beatdown. Allegedly. Not that Italians and the mafia have any connection. At all. Ever. *sound of guns loading* Here are the goals.
With Europe so far out of the way that we can vividly hear Nigel Farage’s heart skip a beat, we come to the main event portion of the evening. The Asian Champions League. It’s got everything you could want. From Xavi’s All-Sadd losing on penalties (was he All-Sad?)
To golazo free kicks and outside the box netbusters
But today’s winner is a familiar face, even though you may have already forgotten who he plays for. It wasn’t five minutes ago that Oscar went to Shanghai SIPG and it was news to us that he wasn’t even the Shanghai team we’d heard of. Either way, that’s now a thing in world football and he plays with Hulk. They both passed to each other to set up a goal, just so we Europeans would recognise everyone on the ball. In all honesty, check out all the goals in this video. They’re equally quality and or baffling.
But that goal isn’t entirely why we’re prepared to give Oscar this golden award like his Hollywood namesake. It’s for that and the moment he ended the life of this linesman.
Now that’s worth however many billions of pounds they paid for him.